Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
