ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
