I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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