Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
