Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
