And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I want her autograph on my taint
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
