found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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