I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
