i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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