five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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