ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
