the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
