but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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