I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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