i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
