I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I have peed in a lot of sinks
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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