what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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