This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
