Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
