OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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