We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
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