how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
