I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
