i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
