either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
