I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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