We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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