I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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