My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
