its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
so much tequila, so little girl.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
