You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
is wine microwaveable?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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