She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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