WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
