I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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