why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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