So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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