And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
