That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
