The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i believe in u and ur pee
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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