I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
So much Jack, so little girl.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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