I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
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