Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
