He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
