Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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