omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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