Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
