dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
