Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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