Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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