well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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