like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I haven't been this sober since birth.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
